In Your Words

Million Voices Campaign members across America are submitting their thoughts on domestic violence in America. Read this month’s theme and be sure to submit your own voice. 
This Month’s Theme:
Why I Joined the Million Voices Campaign to End Domestic Violence in America

Share Your Voice

I decided to join in the effort of stopping domestic violence after my cousin was taken from us on June 20,2008 by the hands of her boyfriend.This needs to stop before more people lose there life to domestic voilence! - Dawn

I wish to do my part to stop this senseless violence. I have been involved with raising awareness of domestic violence since 2001, when I lost my sister due to DV. If we all join together and push for more protection for victims, we can spread the word the this behavior should not, and will not be tolerated. I’m reminded of a quote from Ghandi “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”. - Sharon

My abuser was such a loser.
He was always drunk, he was always late.
He messed around, always on a date.
When I heard him yell - I felt like a glass shattered in hell.
I am happy now
It’s never to late to walk alone
Make the call “pick up  the phone - Jade

I’m in tears as I write this. I am confused, afraid and feel stupid for putting up with everything that I have and not having the strength to leave. I am 23 and have been in a violent relationship for 4 years now. I still have the bruises on my neck from where I was strangled yesterday and my head smacked against the wall several times. I am not unintelligent but I am made to feel useless. I want to fight and I have read this as a start on my journey to freedom I hope. Take care of yourselves xx xx xx

 I use to think there was nothing I could do to help someone else who is a victim of domestic violence. But the recent shooting of a 19-year old after a four year bout of domestic violence, caused me to realize that this very attitude is why many don’t make it out of these relationships alive.  I believe it’s time I lift my voice also.  I was in an abusive relationship for many years.  I was young and stupid and have very low self esteem, so I thought he was the best thing I could ever have.  But only by the grace of God am I alive today. So, I just want to encourage other women to walk away and don’t look back or you’ll get off track. Don’t listen to the empty words or you’ll be tempted to stay. He will steal your identity, kill your hopes, and destroy your dreams.  But I exhort you today to  never under estimate the power you have on the inside to make a change…when you find it in your heart to stand up and say enough is enough.  Run daughter run, never look back or you’ll get off track.  There is a brighter day ahead so don’t be tempted to stay.  Run sister run, today is the day to break away free.  Run mother run, your children need you to pave the way.  Run girl run, there’s a great big world awaiting your arrival you have so much to offer…Blessings God loves you and He is extended His grace to you today… -Karen

Look, domestic violence sucks. I’m a guy, and I wouldn’t think I’d be writing this here right now. But I feel bad for relationships that are supposed to be filled with love and caring for each other to end up crushed with emotions that are extremely difficult to control. I just ended up tonight getting hit with a metal frying pan, having the entire one side of my face scarred from my forhead to my chin, and bruises and cuts all over my hands and arms, and also my right nipple was almost bitten completely off by my “wife”. My whole living room was turned completely upside down, with broken pieces of glass everywhere, all because my wife decided instead of staying home and taking care of our three month year old newborn, she went out and drank drank and drank untill 3 in the morning. She didn’t take her keys woke me up and came in the house carrying more beers and money she said some guy gave her ($50 bucks) and started to talk really loudly at me calling me names and telling me it’s over. Now I am not denying that I fought with her, but you have got to be kidding me if you think that anybody would put up with this. She won’t leave, and I’m trying to do the right thing for the kids, but I swear I think that everything is going to be destroyed because me and my wife don’t get along. We’re both too goddamn bossy. I am completely devasted I spent an hour crying in the bathroom, and I don’t freaking cry at all. So, I know that most of these stories are about men abusing women, but I just felt sort of in the same boat and thought that maybe it might make me feel better to think that I have someone to tell all of this crap in my life about to. -Jesse

I am struggling for the words to write but a burning desire to get them out. The lasting devastation that domestic violence creates is insurmountable. Like many I never thought it would happen to me, I thought I found an amazing individual that would share everything with me. We were creative, spontaneous, adventurous, and there for each other. What I learned is that he allowed for me to rebel and through that rebellion he separated me from my friends and family. We had dated for about 4 months when I found out I was pregnant and the first “situation” happened. He said to me if you keep this child I will have my friends drug you up so you abort. I just thought; “he must not be ready.” Two years later I was eight months pregnant with what was to be our first full term and he kicked me so hard I thought I would die. By the grace of GOD my daughter was born perfect. After her birth I was raped, strangled, punched, kicked, and completely mind warped. I was strangled with my daughter crying next to me and the final straw was when he left her alone in the middle of the night. We fled with only what we could carry. Everyone in my life had left me at that point and I screamed for help and thank goodness my sister and parents answered. I never went back, but that does not mean I don’t watch over my shoulder everyday. I switch my number every six months or so just in case, and live in fear that he will just show up. I may have ended the cycle of violence but I have not ended the cycle of insecurity, mistrust, and allowing to be treated less that desired. Domestic violence rattles the foundation of the human spirit. - Sarah
 

I have chosen to join this campaign because I have lived thru domestic violence since I was a child.  I grew up with my dad beating up my mom and then I went thru domestic violence in my own relationships.  I am pleased to say that I made it out of the relationship after years of physical and mental abuse. This is very close to my heart and no one deserves to live like this.  People who haven’t gone thru it, will never understand and will say, “just get out”.  It isn’t easy, but it can be done with our help.  Please know you are not alone!!!!! - Debbie

I will be 50 this year and thought that at this age I would be comfortable in life, especially since I had worked since I was 14, always paid my bills, always tried to do the right thing. However, after 12 years in a verbally, emotionally, physically, and financially abusive relationship, I have managed to end up in a very low-end, depressing apartment with no furniture, sleeping on an air mattress on the floor, and living out of a cooler as I have no refridgerator. Even still, it is somehow calming. I repeat what so many have said, I never expected this to happen to me. The abuse did not happen right off, it happened over time and systematically. I worked, he collected disability.  He used my name and income to order credit cards, then once they were activated, he would call the company to take me off the account.  By the time I realized I had to get out, I couldn’t. He had made my life disappear on paper. He even went so far as to go and threaten people who may be considering taking me in. He went to jail twice for violence, yet still I could get no help. I had emergency surgery on my aorta having no medical insurance, yet I still could get no help because I had no proof of where I lived and he denied it. He took complete advantage of my grief and guilt over my sons’ suicide. He tormented me constantly with comments such as I must have been a “really great” mom if my own son would rather be dead than be with me. I have rambled on, I know, but I ran across this website quite by accident today, while I was feeling so completely helpless and hopeless. I decided to join, and also tell some of my story, because it is the first time in a very long time that I have felt as if I could really do something positive rather than to just sit and take it. -Jody

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