Comments on: Dating Abuse http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/ 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224 Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:20:24 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Martha http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-200 Martha Tue, 11 Aug 2009 04:33:57 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-200 Matt, Run, don't walk to a 'behaviorial modification specialist' working under the supervision of a Paychiatrist. Get COUNSELING AND STICK IT OUT UNTIL YOU HAVE SOLVED THIS PROBLEM.. Be thankful that you know you need help. You will have a beautifuul life with the one you truly love if you overcome your emotional problems. Matt, Run, don’t walk to a ‘behaviorial modification specialist’ working under the supervision of a Paychiatrist. Get COUNSELING AND STICK IT OUT UNTIL YOU HAVE SOLVED THIS PROBLEM.. Be thankful that you know you need help. You will have a beautifuul life with the one you truly love if you overcome your emotional problems.

]]> By: Matt http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-194 Matt Sat, 08 Aug 2009 15:05:31 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-194 My name is Matt and I have been in a relationship for 9 months, 9 months yesterday to be exact. But I have made a huge decision in my life. I was the kid that would always be playing sports and never have girls on my mind. Well years pass and I find a girl that I really do care for. We spent so many amazing times together and I fell in love and I am still in love. We had a situation just the other day that was extremely bad. I never thought I would do something like that in my life. I literally chased her in my truck just to talk to her for a few minutes because I had so much on my mind and it ended up being a disaster. Police almost got involved, family love seemed to diminish, and my life as well as my girlfriends' were in jeopardy. The next day we finally came together to talk about it. Prior to then I was at home thinking about what I had done and I just couldn't believe myself. I was abusive and I didn't know it until she told me. Many of the signs that we researched from the internet linked to my actions exactly. I lived this relationship loving the wrong way. And after almost losing her for good, I knew things needed to change. I am going to my pastor today to talk about things and ask for advice. I hope whoever reads this will also give me advice. It seems like I would never be that person in a billion years, but I was, and I am fighting to stop because if I love my girlfriend, I will do whatever it takes. It is just so difficult to cope with, I am the kind of guy that is always sweet, always caring and loving, well, I thought. Some of the problems I realized I evoked were checking her phone, not being able to fully trust her, telling her not to wear certain cloths, what am I doing! This isn't me! Thank You for all you people who have read this and honestly if you have any advice to give me please share it with me. I am crushed at the damage I have done and I can't believe myself. I truly love this girl with all my heart and I can't believe I have done what I did. Please give me any advice you have. This is my experience and my awakening to a problem that I can solve and will solve because I love her. please e-mail me with advice lostsurfer327@aim.com -Matt My name is Matt and I have been in a relationship for 9 months, 9 months yesterday to be exact. But I have made a huge decision in my life. I was the kid that would always be playing sports and never have girls on my mind. Well years pass and I find a girl that I really do care for. We spent so many amazing times together and I fell in love and I am still in love. We had a situation just the other day that was extremely bad. I never thought I would do something like that in my life. I literally chased her in my truck just to talk to her for a few minutes because I had so much on my mind and it ended up being a disaster. Police almost got involved, family love seemed to diminish, and my life as well as my girlfriends’ were in jeopardy. The next day we finally came together to talk about it. Prior to then I was at home thinking about what I had done and I just couldn’t believe myself. I was abusive and I didn’t know it until she told me. Many of the signs that we researched from the internet linked to my actions exactly. I lived this relationship loving the wrong way. And after almost losing her for good, I knew things needed to change. I am going to my pastor today to talk about things and ask for advice. I hope whoever reads this will also give me advice. It seems like I would never be that person in a billion years, but I was, and I am fighting to stop because if I love my girlfriend, I will do whatever it takes. It is just so difficult to cope with, I am the kind of guy that is always sweet, always caring and loving, well, I thought. Some of the problems I realized I evoked were checking her phone, not being able to fully trust her, telling her not to wear certain cloths, what am I doing! This isn’t me! Thank You for all you people who have read this and honestly if you have any advice to give me please share it with me. I am crushed at the damage I have done and I can’t believe myself. I truly love this girl with all my heart and I can’t believe I have done what I did. Please give me any advice you have. This is my experience and my awakening to a problem that I can solve and will solve because I love her.

please e-mail me with advice
lostsurfer327@aim.com

-Matt

]]> By: Lena http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-193 Lena Fri, 07 Aug 2009 04:32:46 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-193 Thanks Kim Thanks Kim

]]> By: Kimberly http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-192 Kimberly Fri, 07 Aug 2009 03:15:14 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-192 You are not alone. Your story sounds exactly like mine. After my bf abused me the last time I just felt it was time to leave. I give hints to people to make them realize someone is going on wanting people to ask more questions. If anyone knew, they never said anything. I too always just said I can handle this one day it will stop. But it never did. The longer you stay the worse it gets. You need to fight to stay alive. It is so rough, it has only been 2 months for me. Once it is done there is a freedom you feel. I literally felt free...free to live my life. You too can have that freedom. You are not alone. Your story sounds exactly like mine. After my bf abused me the last time I just felt it was time to leave. I give hints to people to make them realize someone is going on wanting people to ask more questions. If anyone knew, they never said anything. I too always just said I can handle this one day it will stop. But it never did. The longer you stay the worse it gets. You need to fight to stay alive. It is so rough, it has only been 2 months for me. Once it is done there is a freedom you feel. I literally felt free…free to live my life. You too can have that freedom.

]]> By: Lena http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-191 Lena Fri, 07 Aug 2009 02:02:51 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-191 When I was in highschool my boyfriend abused me. He hit me, grabbed me, choked me and controlled everything I did. I hid everything from the world, I was so ashamed. I thought all of my troubles were over when I was in college. I started dating my current boyfriend while in college. Unlike before, my boyfriend didn't outright hit me or controll me at first. I am becoming more isolated from my family and friends and he is becoming physical at times. I tell myself that it isn't a big deal and I can't seem to tell anyone about this secret. It will only make it worse. I wanna leave but get sucked back in everytime. I feel like the crazy one. It seems like I'm in this alone!!! When I was in highschool my boyfriend abused me. He hit me, grabbed me, choked me and controlled everything I did. I hid everything from the world, I was so ashamed. I thought all of my troubles were over when I was in college. I started dating my current boyfriend while in college. Unlike before, my boyfriend didn’t outright hit me or controll me at first. I am becoming more isolated from my family and friends and he is becoming physical at times. I tell myself that it isn’t a big deal and I can’t seem to tell anyone about this secret. It will only make it worse. I wanna leave but get sucked back in everytime. I feel like the crazy one. It seems like I’m in this alone!!!

]]> By: Kimberly http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-189 Kimberly Thu, 06 Aug 2009 03:23:45 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-189 I am 24 years old and have been experiencing abuse from my b/f. I have only recently been able to speak of the abuse which has been going on for over a year. I still can't tell my friends or family members, only bits to my therapist. How do you finally overcome the fear of telling people? My b/f abused me any and every way he could. Even now I type and erase because I want to talk but I don't want to hurt my loved ones and it hurts all over again. Now that we are broken up he destroys anything that he had in his possession and harasses me. Unfortunately I work with him. I am 24 years old and have been experiencing abuse from my b/f. I have only recently been able to speak of the abuse which has been going on for over a year. I still can’t tell my friends or family members, only bits to my therapist. How do you finally overcome the fear of telling people? My b/f abused me any and every way he could. Even now I type and erase because I want to talk but I don’t want to hurt my loved ones and it hurts all over again. Now that we are broken up he destroys anything that he had in his possession and harasses me. Unfortunately I work with him.

]]> By: hotlineadmin_NF http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-184 hotlineadmin_NF Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:45:00 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-184 Adriane, We are so sorry to hear that you are living in this dangerous and abusive situation. The internet is not the safest forum for us to support you in this process. We would love to speak with you confidentially at the Hotline so please call us when you're in a safe place at <strong>1-800-799-7233</strong>. We're open 24/7 and are completely anonymous. We have extensive resources in our database to locate support and help for you and we can do some safety planning for your situation. There is help out there for you and you are not alone with this. NDVH Admin Adriane,

We are so sorry to hear that you are living in this dangerous and abusive situation. The internet is not the safest forum for us to support you in this process. We would love to speak with you confidentially at the Hotline so please call us when you’re in a safe place at 1-800-799-7233. We’re open 24/7 and are completely anonymous. We have extensive resources in our database to locate support and help for you and we can do some safety planning for your situation. There is help out there for you and you are not alone with this.

NDVH Admin

]]> By: hotlineadmin_NF http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-183 hotlineadmin_NF Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:41:30 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-183 Verbal abuse should not be underestimated in its power to hurt and damage another's person self worth. What we know about verbal abuse is that it plays a very intricate role in abuser's maintaining power and control over their partners. Many of our callers report that the verbal violence inflicted upon them by their partners is almost as bad if not worse than the physical injuries they sustain. Please visit the get educated section of our website for more information about the impact of verbal abuse and the role it plays in maintaining and sustaining domestic violence. http://www.ndvh.org/get-educated/what-is-domestic-violence/ Verbal abuse should not be underestimated in its power to hurt and damage another’s person self worth. What we know about verbal abuse is that it plays a very intricate role in abuser’s maintaining power and control over their partners. Many of our callers report that the verbal violence inflicted upon them by their partners is almost as bad if not worse than the physical injuries they sustain. Please visit the get educated section of our website for more information about the impact of verbal abuse and the role it plays in maintaining and sustaining domestic violence. http://www.ndvh.org/get-educated/what-is-domestic-violence/

]]> By: adriane http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-182 adriane Mon, 03 Aug 2009 19:13:43 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-182 Dear friend, I am not sure what to do?, I am living in Illinois, I have 2 boys 5 and 11. I have been in a relationship wrih this man for 12 years. Our relationship has been very volatile up and down. I left him 4 years ago because the physical abuse was escalating. He was the man of my dreams for the first 2 years of our rarelationship, until he started to hit me. He was in the millitary for 7 years and this did not help the situation, because he already had a bad temper. I am going to college at this moment and things are going pretty bad with us. I have no family around and no one knows my situation. He has punched me in the head many times, kicked me, grabbed me by the hair, slapped me in the face and I can go on and on. I am affraid of him now than before, because he started using one of his knieves to treated me. He owns several guns, and has several millitary guns. Sometimes i think he will kill me. I told a friend in a e-mail letter that if something happens to me, he will be the one who is responsible. Harsh words but i just don't trust him anymore. If I call the police, he said he will kill me or take my kids away, because i suffer from depression. On top of this mess, he is an alcoholic, he may not look like one. He is a bussines man, has a good job, dresses in a suit for work and always smiles to others. People will not believe, he is capable of doing those things to me, but I know and his family knows. He has no contact with his mom and dad for almost 2 months. He is angry at them for being so abusive with him as a child, but he is doing the same, not to his kids, but to me. My son doesn't want to go to a shelter, I have no money, and I am not moving with my mother in Mexico because i need to finsh my career, so i can be able to support my kids and myself. I need guidence....I am living in a dangerous circle .... Dear friend,

I am not sure what to do?, I am living in Illinois, I have 2 boys 5 and 11. I have been in a relationship wrih this man for 12 years. Our relationship has been very volatile up and down. I left him 4 years ago because the physical abuse was escalating. He was the man of my dreams for the first 2 years of our rarelationship, until he started to hit me. He was in the millitary for 7 years and this did not help the situation, because he already had a bad temper. I am going to college at this moment and things are going pretty bad with us. I have no family around and no one knows my situation. He has punched me in the head many times, kicked me, grabbed me by the hair, slapped me in the face and I can go on and on. I am affraid of him now than before, because he started using one of his knieves to treated me. He owns several guns, and has several millitary guns. Sometimes i think he will kill me. I told a friend in a e-mail letter that if something happens to me, he will be the one who is responsible. Harsh words but i just don’t trust him anymore. If I call the police, he said he will kill me or take my kids away, because i suffer from depression. On top of this mess, he is an alcoholic, he may not look like one. He is a bussines man, has a good job, dresses in a suit for work and always smiles to others. People will not believe, he is capable of doing those things to me, but I know and his family knows. He has no contact with his mom and dad for almost 2 months. He is angry at them for being so abusive with him as a child, but he is doing the same, not to his kids, but to me. My son doesn’t want to go to a shelter, I have no money, and I am not moving with my mother in Mexico because i need to finsh my career, so i can be able to support my kids and myself. I need guidence….I am living in a dangerous circle ….

]]> By: Jessica Damveld http://www.ndvh.org/2009/07/dating-abuse/comment-page-1/#comment-180 Jessica Damveld Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:33:01 +0000 http://www.ndvh.org/?p=882#comment-180 i dont wat him out but i want to know who long i have untill i have to dissapear i dont wat him out but i want to know who long i have untill i have to dissapear

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